Eleven years ago, when the news came I was expecting I had ideas, a plan in mind for how we would raise this baby. However, when ‘this baby’ became our KT the plans evaporated.
|My Dad holding KT for the first time|
She couldn’t breath, she was raspy and staring at me as she was whisked away to the NIC unit. After what felt like an eternity of stitches and blood pressure checks I was finally able to hold my little girl. After that scare she never left my side, she was constantly held and cuddled at all times, yes some of you might say spoiled.
At one point during her first year a person in my life called her fat, not cute fat but unhealthy fat. I hugged her tightly and cried, a sad, mournful cry that I had difficultly stopping. I realized at that moment I was the not only the mother of this child, but protector and her advocate.
My very angry Mother Bear instincts took over, that person and I have never had the same relationship since. This little girl took me from the self centred, singluar minded person I was, to the caring and empathetic person I am today. This month she turns double digits and I am not sure I am ready for her to be quite so grown up. She no longer asks me to kiss her giraffe, rub her back to help her sleep or check under her bed for monsters. I mourn the loss of my little girl but I look forward to our next adventures together as she moves towards reaching tween-hood. I hope we can still be as close as we were during this precious moment and she will still look at me with the same love and admiration. I will be wishing my ‘no longer little girl’ a happy 10th birthday this month and I cannot believe how time has flown.
This picture, this one right here, it is worth more words then I can write here on this post.