I met my 20 year old daughter today…

My Katie 2 days old. 

I have never had this happen before, it was a odd moment in my life. A 20 something girl came into the office, we exchanged polite conversation and I suddenly felt a “punch in the stomach” feeling. I could not explain how I felt, my eyes started to tear up and I excused myself from the conversation.

She had golden-blonde hair pulled up in a messy pony tail, a small nose ring, deep blue eyes and a smile I know I had seen before. She introduced her self to me as Katie. I saw my 9 year old Katie in this 20 year old women.

Her kindness or karma I don’t know what it was that made me feel a strong correlation between this young woman and my daughter, but it made me think how sad I will be when my 9 year old is no longer 9. Will she still be the same vivacious personality she is today, will her smile still be as bright? Will her view of the world still be rosy?

I think the reason this small encounter affected me so much was that we as a family made a decision, we are done having children. Maybe I secretly want another baby or possibly seeing my first baby grow up is harder to accept than I thought.

As I write this post I am challenged to understand why it has stirred such deep sadness. Anyone else know the feeling I am talking about? Maybe this is what is like to be 40 and see the end of your children being little kids and the reality that at some point they will be adults.

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